Makeup for your Teeth? Pink, Platinum, + Yellow?? I’m Cringing.

@bufferingbetty

Because you don’t have rapper money and there’s a party tonight.

I am always one to say that makeup is fun in all forms. Changing up your look for a few hours is part of the self expressive nature of cosmetics. Getting a little weird with your makeup is always welcome. I, myself have green, blue, and neon lipsticks, frosty-funky color highlighter, and I have been itching to bleach my brows. Just for fun. But how weird is too weird? How far is too far in the realms of eccentric makeup?

Meet Chrom

Creators of temporary tooth polish. Like nail polish but for your teeth. YOUR TEETH!!!

“CHRŌM is a tooth polish, just like nail polish, that can be applied and removed in a matter of seconds, and lasts for up to 24 hours at a time. It doesn’t smudge when you're eating and has no taste” (source)

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Need to know: 14 colors, $18
Avaiable at toothpolish.com
Shop here →

The colors

Ok. As Americans, we have a pretty basic standard for what teeth should look like. Our ideal is bright, white, straight, and clean teeth. (Lord, doesn’t that say so much, but I digress). So the Chrom tooth polish that makes the most sense to me is the “Pearly White” shade. Maybe you’ve been drinking too much coffee lately and it’s showing on your teeth. You have an event to attend and want brilliant white teeth to make your smile just that much more beautiful. But, with Chrom, you have the option of making your smile sparkle with glitter, with green teeth, and, yes, YELLOW.

This color is Glitterati Chrom. 1 of their 3 glittery shades. Can’t lie, I love glitter and this looks like something I’d give a try to. Maybe. While your teeth look brighter, they also look kind of dirty. But still not too bad.

Ok I almost bought Glitterati Party because this is just freaking cute.

No. No, sorry, Just no. Glitterati Gold looks like you ain’t brushed your teeth in 7 months. I almost called a lawyer to bring a lawsuit for causing me trauma and making my spine cringe!

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Chrom toothpolish in Baby Blue and in Mint gave me some positive feels all over again. This is very appropriate for music festivals, laser shows, raves (are they still a thing), basically any party where there is a girl with a hula hoop, pigtails with yarn, and gemstones on her face.

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But then this color happened.

24 Karat Toothpolish is cancelled. It looks like she caked Hot Cheetos on to her bottom teeth. It looks like her teeth have been replaced with Cheez-Its. It looks like the concept of a toothbrush had never been introduced. It looks so crazy, it changed history! Oy vey. Ay Dios. No puedo.

I’m weak.

And here we have Chrom tooth polish in Sunshine. Right.

When I was a kid, I remember my friends and I pressing silver gum wrappers on to our teeth and pretending we were rappers, singing lyrics no 9 year old should sing. I don’t know about other play grounds around the country, but on 104th between 2nd + 3rd Ave in NYC, that’s what we did. I remember we would also take the brown wrappers off a Reese’s peanut butter cup and wrap them around our teeth and pretend we were hillbillies.

Chrom Tooth Polish is just an extension of that. Playing pretend. Dressing up. Having fun. So I joke about how crazy some of the colors look, but in the end, it is just makeup.

Is it fashion or is it Corny?

I Tried Oil Pulling For The First Time

@bufferingbetty

Gross mouthfeel. Sparkling Results?

Oil pulling is an old healthcare remedy from India where you take a tablespoon of oil and swish it around in your mouth for about 20 minutes and then spit it out. It is believed to be useful for things line whitening teeth to helping fix all of your health woes. The practice became trendy a few years ago when some celebs began to swear this 'new' thing had changed their life. There are articles pro and against oil pulling. Some argue it is a waste of time that does no harm or good, while others say it improves overall mouth health thus improving overall health. What I'm here to tell you is my results were!

Maple Holistics specializes in providing products for those who want to know what exactly what ingredients they are using. Their fractionated coconut oil seemed perfect for trying out oil pulling. Fractionated means that the coconut oil will remain an oil. 

I brushed my teeth before oil pulling. Ok, let's be real, the thought swishing around oil in my mouth for 20 minutes sounded like it would the most horrible way to start any day. From everything I had found, you should oil pull on an empty stomach. My guess is just in case the mouthfeel really gets to you. Truthfully, it might. There isn't a taste to the oil but it's the texture that'll get ya, Thick and heavy. UGH!!!

Moving the oil around on my gums was easy to get used to after a few minutes. I always have a dry tongue. I thought that if I swirled *blech* the oil on my tongue *blech* it would help. But the second I felt the oil on my tongue, I was ready to cut the 20 minutes short and move on. 

The worst part about oil pulling is that as you swish the oil around your mouth, the thicker the oil gets. As the minutes crawl by, you feel a thick and foamy slug forming in your mouth. All you can focus on is not letting the oil get too close to the back of your mouth so you accidentally swallow anything. Ugh, the thought of that makes my whole body clench in disgust. 

Oh the moment of release. So soothing it was to know that it is finally over. The once clear oil is now a vulgar shade of milky white. I followed up with brushing my teeth. I noticed that my mouth didn't feel as dry as usual that day. I was pleased with that. 

Would I try oil pulling again? 

Yes, and I have! It took me about a week to give it another try remembering the nauseating slug that formed in my mouth, but I did do it but this time in the shower. If you occupy your mind, you won't focus so much on the feeling in your mouth. I don't know if I would make this a permanent addition to my oral care. When I have oil pulled, maybe it is just in my head, but I feel like the spit in my mouth is super thick and I end up spitting all day. 

And, of course, there are more satisfying ways to use coconut oil. 

The lipstick I am wearing is from Beauty Bakerie. If you've worn one, you know how hard they are to remove without attacking your lips. This oil broke it down quickly and easily. 

How do you use natural ingredients in your beauty routine?