Dating in NYC: Life with JRDN!

Written By Pepper. B

If you've stumbled upon this interview your at the right place at the right time. Meet JRDN she's a tastemaker you need to see in NYC. Besides having a great Podcast " Dating in NYC "   she introduces you to a few things you need to do and see in NYC on her website. Jrdn's Podcast has gotten me through intense travel and commuting. Read more below and find out a little bit more about living life with JRDN ...

My name is Jourdan Ash better known on the internet as Life With JRDN — a 25 year old writer/blogger who likes long walks on the block, Popeyes, and Hip-Hop. My podcast, Dating in NYC, has blossomed from an interview based segment on my blog to a bi-weekly podcast where I explore and learn about the many intricate parts of dating and romance in this (sometimes wild) city. The idea came to me after a bad breakup when I tried to force myself into the dating scene, but kept meeting the same men in different bodies. Through my podcast, I’ve become more self-aware about some of my toxic dating habits as well as more open to learn about the disconnect when it comes to romance between men and women.

 

What motivated you to create the “ Dating in NYC” Podcast ?

Dating in NYC started as a segment on my blog,  LifewithJRDN.com , after I had got out of a bad breakup. I kept meeting the same men in different bodies and often questioned ‘what the fuck was going on?’ I started by asking a few questions on Twitter to see if other women were going through the same thing or if it was just me. After I realized women were going through the same issues, I started doing interviews and it soon grew into a podcast. I wanted to have more uncensored conversations about dating/romance and learn more in the process.

What’s the last song you listened to while commuting ?

“Can’t You See” J Dilla

If you could describe your dating life in the form of a movie title what would it be ? 

“She’s Gotta Have It”

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What are 3 things people need to mentally prepare themselves for when dating in NYC?

 

Prepare for meeting a lot of people who don’t know themselves, believe their online persona transcends or makes up for their lack of personality in real life, and prepare yourself to be extremely patient.

Do you think social media influences dating in a positive or negative way ?

 

Social media only has the influence that people allow it to have — which can be negative or positive. The only thing that’s tricky about dating with social media influence is people pretending to be this persona on the internet that they aren’t in real life.

Do you think couples should interact with each other over social media ? YES

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If a person wanted to court or “swoon” you what would be the ideal date ?  

If a man wanted to court me, an ideal date would be something that shows me multiple sides of him. For example, I love rollerskating/ice skating but I’m very bad at it. Both times I went on skating dates, I was able to see how patient, caring, fun, and good at teaching they were all at once. So anything that’s active or gives us a chance to talk or learn (usually involving food before or after) is how to court me.

How do you feel about dating apps? Which do you avoid ? 

 

I’m not the biggest fan of dating apps, they’re more of a joke than anything.

You post a lot of good eats in nyc on social media please list your favorites below:

Pizza Shop: No Favorite just yet! Still searching for the perfect slice!

Ice Cream Shop: Mikey’s Likes It

Soul Food: Melba’s (until I finally try Peaches)

Tacos: Essex Tacos

Happy Hour: Bob White Counter or Pianos

What is your go to manicure color & why ?

Red because it’s powerful and makes me feel sexy 

What’s your skin regime like, Whats your favorite skincare line?

My favorite skincare lines are Glossier and Peter Thomas Roth. 

What are 5 products in your make-up bag: 

Fenty Beauty’s Trophy Wife, Gloss Bomb, and Mega Wattstix in Chili Mango, NYX vivid brights eyeliner in electric blue, and NYX micro brow pencil in chocolate!

If you were a fragrance what would you be and why ?

I’m not big on perfume because it gives me a headache. But if I had to choose, I would be Flowerbomb by Viktor & Rolf.

Heels or Kicks:

Sneakers

What are your go to haircare brands ?

I don’t really have any I’m still trying to find what works best with my hair.

Something you are looking forward to doing this fall :

I’m looking forward to exploring someone (hopefully) this fall. I’m in a great headspace right now and open to all new people and opportunities. I’m also excited about the work opportunities and the growth of my podcast.

Where to find JRDN:

@Lifewithjrdn - Instagram

LifewithJRDN - Twitter

http://lifewithjrdn.com

Peace of Mind Over A Piece of Paycheck: My Piece of Peace:

Written by Pepper.B 

My name is Pepper. B and I am the creator of this site you’ve stumbled upon. If you’ve been here before welcome back. I like to mention my disclaimer: I am not a therapist and I am not here to tell you what to do with your life. I am reluctant enough to have experience in various things at my age. I use Pepper Notes as an outlet to voice my views and opinions on various topic inside and outside of beauty. As well as share some of my life;  

I woke up one day and realized that life was actually really happening.  People around me were having children and getting married and some people were losing loved ones.  SHIT LIFE IS REALLY HAPPENING. The moments that I thought about as child that seemed so far away I was actually living. My Life took a drastic change starting the beginning of 2014. I lost my mom I was living in Brooklyn, New York with no other family in my state to call on. I had my childhood best friend sleeping on my couch for about an entire month which she was okay with because I was so heart broken I just didn’t want to be alone. After taking a break from work in order to reset my life which is what it felt like. Giving myself grieving time and time to just figure things out. Bills returned and living in New York, Bills don’t pay themselves. During this period of time I was working a job as an executive in the beauty industry.  

I hit the pavement hard getting back into the work life. After spending a year of intense traveling for work with a job that was no longer bringing me happiness. I decided to make some changes. To be honest at this point I should’ve left my job and maybe done something different in my industry or just work with another company. Everything has an expiration and sometimes when we doubt ourselves we make matters worse. I was working with this company for close to 6 years at this point.  I decide to switch divisions and honestly this was worse. Initially I thought this would work out amazing. I was living in a different area right outside of New York. I was more local, less travel so I can focus on my personal business on the side as well as home. I ended up in a situation that was bigger then me. I hear people talk about being overwhelmed with work and how it plays a part on your overall life but I couldn’t relate so I didn’t get it.  Until this moment. 

From the outside looking in it appeared that I was working “The DREAM job” as people would say.  We all love the perks and a paycheck but none of this matters if you don’t “fall asleep every night feeling fulfilled” Outside influences such as family, friends and social media train us to hold on to things that don’t make us happy in order to impress other people that aren’t happy. At this point I was working beyond my expiration date. I was reporting to someone who was under qualified and extremely confrontational.  Besides that I couldn’t shut work off. I would receive emails all times of the night. Calls on my off days. Fight to breathe because I was spread way to thin. The expectations were way to high for the amount of compensation. If this is how you choose to live your life this article isn't set out to offend you. However when you wake up and realize again. LIFE IS REALLY HAPPENING! You aren’t living out your fullest potential and living a normal life things are passing you by you put life into perspective. No! A normal life doesn't mean being mediocre. This is your life. Your normal life should consist of YOU being able to do things that make YOU happy!  

After dealing with these issues in my new division for a few months I started to develop anxiety. I never had anxiety let alone panic attacks. I was so overwhelmed with the work load I had. I couldn’t even get in the door from work and have dinner with my boyfriend without my work phone going off.  Just because you are salary doesn’t mean you owe someone your life.  I put on so much weight because of my sleeping and eating habits. Getting home really late, eating really late and lack of sleep. I was angry at everyone. I would practically have to throw myself out of bed in the morning. My eyes were strained and bloodshot. I worked in the beauty industry. I didn't even want to put makeup on.  This one thing was affecting my whole entire life. My health, friendship, relationships and most importantly the quality of MY life. 

 I think the most valuable advice I received was in my favorite crystal shop in union square. Which I frequently visit because mediation and healing crystals play a big part of my everyday life. I went to buy some new crystals and items to set my area for meditation because I even stop mediating. I asked someone at the crystal shop “ What can I use to help improve career and issues in my work environment ?”  After chatting with him for a while he said to be honest there is no crystal or meditation that can fix this. Some obstacles will push you to break you or toughen you to make the steps for your next chapter that will put you closer to happiness. I went home to meditate and after I had to reset myself thinking. Redirect my energy… There are certain things that are out of your control that you can’t change and that’s okay. Focus on what you can change.  Your boss is a jerk and discriminates you that you can’t change, However changing your environment you can. 

I used every fiber in my body to take all of my energy and transfer the anger I was harboring from this situation and used it as my fuel to switch my situation. I detached myself from little things that were material that didn’t matter more then my happiness. Detached myself from job perks that didn't matter more then my life perks. When you put your energy into the right places the universe will open doors for you. This won’t happen when you're focusing on the negative aspects of situations. When you are focused on how amazing you are and how powerful you are you received things that are of value. Scaling back in some area’s and weighing what's more important. Is an extra headache or extra happiness more important? All of the perks don't matter if you aren't happy enough to utilize them. 

One thing I learned is that in this world there is so much out there. There is ALWAYS something better. You just have to pay attention. What will really improve your overall lifestyle?  Money is not always more.  Sometimes taking a small pay cut for a less straining job will put you in a position to attract more in your private life. This wasn't the case for me lol. I let go of titles, I find some people keep positions that make them unhappy just for bragging rights. If you can't take that same title and make your heart fell warm at night you are hold on to the wrong things. 

Now as I look at my old self and eliminating that one part of my life improved everything so much and I laugh because I should've done it sooner. Only you will know when enough is enough and your ready to give yourself a piece of mind. 

Thanks for reading a piece of my peace. Good Luck! 

Feel free to post a note in the comments xo 

Dear, Ms I Don't Wear That Much Make-up! ( Is Make-up shaming a thing ?)

Written By Pepper.B

Disclamer if youre looking to learn something from this article you won't! Pepper Notes is my column to do several things, educate, life talks and Rant!

[Scenario 1]:

Primping and making myself up isn't one of my favorite things to do in the morning. I prefer extra sleep! However when it happens it's something that makes me feel good. I am writing this post for the girl on the train to whom I was sitting next to while she was being embarrassed 8:00 am on the path train. As I'm dosing off I look to my right and see a women doing her make-up discreetly. Across from her there are two women, I should probably say girls.  Laughing at her because she's doing her make-up on the train. Mocking her motions. This isn't the first time I witnessed this and it's ANNOYING! Maybe seeing this doesn't bother me because I am infatuated with seeing women apply make-up. I also think a little deeper into the situation. This could be a single mom who doesn't have time at home or she's a girl boss who wants those extra minutes of sleep to regroup. 

I am that girl who does a full face of make-up on plane lands and goes straight to work. So I totally understand wanting those extra minutes!!

[Scenario 2]:

Why do men have an opinion on how much make-up women wear? If you have so much commentary on beauty please become a make-up artist it is a very lucrative business. Sitting at the bar in lower Manhattan, ease dropping on two men chating as they are on social media looking at girls photos talking about make-up! Are you kidding me ?!? lol This isn't the masculine thing to do. As I'm listening to the chat they mention taking a girl swimming on the first date and give each other a high five. 

I'm Sorry, What? Are there not products now that waterproof make-up! Men have make-up all figured out. I guess. I can understand preferring a girl that wears less make-up. Let women be who they are.  I'm sure you will be super enthusiastic about the girl who arrives to a date with  hair unbrushed and no make-up ( I'm being super sarcastic ) I would love to go to a pool on the first date with a full face of make-up just to prove the 35 dollars I spent on setting spray is worth every penny! I personally prefer my version of a natural look which still requires a ton of steps and I love every moment of it. This won't be dictated by someone who doesn't understand how a good make-up bag is an investment.

* Cash Register Noise Here*

[Scenario 3]: Ms I don't wear that much make-up. 

I work in the beauty industry in all aspects. Apart of my job requires me to be in different locations around the northeast doing make-up in-store. One thing that I find that is universal in every state is the HATER FRIEND. The friend who goes make-up shopping solely to discourage her friend not to buy make-up and brag about how much make-up she doesn't wear! 

As two women approach me:

Friend: " I don't wear that much make-up everyday all I wear is Concealer, Bronzer, Blushes, Brows and lipgloss.! 

I don't know call me crazy but the last time I checked that is almost a full make-up routine. You wear natural make-up it's okay. No one is going to give you an award for being the friend who does a no make-up look. If polished make-up allows your friend to feel good support her. This is also the friend who is the side commentator while her friend is getting her make-up done and has a comment for every color you attempt to use. In this moment I often feel like the friend should go AWAY lol. Don't take advice from the friend who is ashamed of her routine.

This also shouldn't be taken the wrong way! I love natural face, I love dramatic make-up, I love women who aren't as skilled and attempt to learn to make make-up work for them.  Imagine if all the make-up junkies bashed women who don't wear make-up? Which shouldn't happen either. You be offended. It's more about owning who you are and what you like. Most importantly not bashing people who have a preference that is different from you.  To the girl on the path train who did her make-up the entire ride, I hope you have the mission and purpose that I do when I'm on go doing things that align with my lifestyle. You looked BEAUTIFUL!